G&F to Create Elk Season for "Dumb, Lazy Hunters"
Hunters from Texas, California and Arkansas automatically qualify
by Rob Shaul

Citing its wish to react to the needs of all types of hunters, the Wyoming Department of Game & Fish has decided to create a special hunting season for chronically unsuccessful elk hunters.

"There is a small, select group of elk hunters who simply never shoot an elk, year after year," said Pinedale G&F Warden Festus Whipple. "We know they're unsuccessful because they whine and complain a lot," he continued. Complaints run the gamut and include whining about the weather, too little snow, too much snow, too many hunters, not enough hunters, too many roads, not enough roads and the fact they must get their feet dirty.

"Over the years we've been able to identify this group of hunters and have decided to address their needs by creating a special season for them," said the Warden. The new single-day season will be called the "D&L Season" (short for Dumb & Lazy) and will be held the first Saturday in January, after all the other elk seasons are over.

"The G&F will round up several old dry cow and sick bull elk and tie them to trees lining the North Piney Road after it crosses into the National Forest," says Warden Whipple. Hunters which qualify for the D&L Season will be required to check in with the G&F at the Forest boundary, and then will be allowed to "road hunt" the rest of the day.

"We will be working with local ranchers to ensure that no livestock or horses are in the area," continues the warden, "and other hunters and forest users will be advised to stay out of the forest that day."

The Game & Fish has established several criteria for hunters to qualify for the D&L season. The first and most important is that hunters who qualify will have to have a string of five or more unsuccessful elk hunting seasons. Other criteria include a body fat percentage of 30% or greater and a history of whining and complaining to the G&F. Hunters who have been lost, or have ever shot a moose, cow or horse thinking it was an elk automatically qualify. Other criteria the G&F will consider is a history of hunting in sneakers or house slippers, or if they have gone through an entire elk season and their boots still look new, ATV ownership, or spending more than $5,000/year with Cabela's. That hunters from Texas, California and Arkansas automatically qualify for the special season, "goes without saying," says Warden Whipple.

Applications for the D&L Season must be submitted to the G&F office in Cheyenne by September 15.